I believe that at the soul level, we ask for certain life experiences for the purpose of experiencing it. At the human body level, we feel emotions and have thoughts about the circumstances of our lives and not all of them are pleasant. Yet, at the soul level, we are delighted to have the experience indifferent to whether it’s challenging or easy, painful or joyful.
We also make agreements with other souls to assist us with having these experiences. Across lifetimes, we change roles and ways we engage with some of the same souls we’re connected with. I signed up for my parents, siblings, husband, friends and a whole host of other relationships and energetic exchanges simply to have that human experience, and on some occasions to learn certain lessons.
When I’m in the muck of a particularly uncomfortable experience, I usually forget that I signed up for it. I asked for it for a reason my human mind may not comprehend, but that my higher self is fully on board with.
This deeper understanding was the theme of my recent plant medicine trip to Peru.
With no cellular service, internet connection or TV/Radio to distract my Hummingbird Mind, I had the space to integrate this wisdom more deeply as I processed each plant ceremony’s experience. During this retreat, we explored the dark shadows of our lives…the areas we consciously avoid because we can.
I asked the question, “What have I been unwilling to see that is ready to come into the light?”
In the answer, I came face to face with my own participation and compliance in the experiences I’ve harbored victimhood around. The “horrible, unfair” things that happened “to me” that I, at a soul level, signed up for. When examining this from the perspective of choosing, I shift into asking, “Why?”
Why am I attracting these painful experiences in this way? What do I need to see, understand and learn about them? What did my higher self believe I was ready to heal in this lifetime and therefore dove straight into? What did I come here to experience? And if it’s uncomfortable for my human form, how do I still experience it, but in a more comfortable way?
If you have read my blogs before, you know that I’m normally open and transparent about my journey. Three weeks post-trip, it’s still a little too raw and fresh to give the details so vulnerably and so publicly. Maybe down the road, I’ll share. Suffice to say, I explored the Masculine and Feminine energy…both the Wounded and the Divine.
And it was hard.
And it was beautiful.
And it was healing. Not only for me, but also my lineage (both past and future).
And it gave me perspective and next steps for my self-discovery and development journey.
In this exploration through the lens of curiosity, I was able to take ownership of my part. I became empowered. No longer was I a victim of past circumstances. I could also shed what I was carrying on behalf of others that wasn’t mine to bear. I could connect the dots between some of my physical ailments and their root cause so that I could bring awareness and light to those shadows.
As I continue to integrate, I am waking up in the middle of the night conscious enough that I’m developing insights but not conscious enough to remember what they are. A few mornings I’ve woken with the songs of the ceremonies running through my head. These little reminders that I’m still unpacking and integrating all that happened. From what I understand from others’ experiences with plant medicine, the integration continues on for months and even years.
What a beautiful gift to know that it continues to evolve long after the experience! I’m grateful to have had the opportunity and for the safe space that our shaman created for us.
This experience reenforced that in every pain there is a lesson, in every trigger there is a mirror, and we are always at choice in how we perceive all things. Therefore I impart to you, dear reader, where might you shift into the perspective of your soul self for deeper understanding and release of what no longer serves you?