Five years ago, if you would have told me that in April of 2021, I would embark on a plant medicine retreat in Peru, I would have laughed at the ridiculousness of the suggestion. Strait-laced, rule-following, and people-pleasing me would have rigidly denied that such a trip would have any benefit that could outweigh the risk of losing control and people’s negative perceptions. That version of me feels so naïvely unaware of the vastness of possibilities (and five years from now, I may feel the same way about the now me).
In so many ways, the past five years have blown my mind and my heart wide open. As I’ve peeled off layers of rules and conditioning, I’ve come closer and closer to my True Nature. She’s wild and adventurous. She boldly steps into experiences that bring her closer to truth…even when they’re hard. She’s tender and vulnerable. She’s fierce and strong. She loves deeply and adores her regained spirituality.
I have no idea what this trip will reveal. I am both excited and nervous to experience what unfolds over the next seventeen days. I know friends who have had completely transformational experiences that were also really hard and exhausting. What have I not excavated yet?
I don’t say that because I feel I’ve done all the work there is to do. Quite the opposite. I know I have addressed the aspects I see rising to the surface with the tools I have or by working with friends in other modalities. What’s hidden beneath that, that I haven’t looked at and examined? What am I unaware of? Where are my blind spots?
And am I ready to do this work? The answer is yes, because I said yes to this trip. My inner wisdom is guiding me and she says, “It’s time, Dear One.” Time for what, though, is where I’m nervous. That not knowing…and the irony is that we never really know anything always!
Because Spirit has a sense of humor, as I am typing this, a song on my Medicine Music playlist has started with the words: “I release control, and surrender to the flow of love that will heal me.”
I’m curious, Dear Reader, where in your life are you venturing into the unknown? Where are you embarking on a new adventure? What feels both nervous and exciting in your life right now?
What would it feel like to surrender to the flow of love?