To manifest what we wish to call into our lives, we must first make space for it. Just like creating space in the closet for new clothing or space in a vase for fresh flowers, both require discarding the old ones that served their purpose in the past but no longer do in the present. We only have so much space and we must be precious with what occupies it.
If our mind is swirling with painful thoughts and our emotions are full of lower vibrations, how can there be enough space for peace, joy, fulfillment and purpose? If our anger and judgment consume our waking hours, how can we be present with our relationships and creative projects? If our mind is so preoccupied with who did what to whom, or playing out how reality should be different than it is, how will we recognize the opportunities we want to pursue? The two cannot coexist at the exact same time. Passengers must get off the boat before new passengers can come aboard.
This is what coaches identify as blocks. The barriers that we harbor to creating what we desire. We must release to create.
If you’ve been wanting to call in love, a new career, a child, more money, or maybe that dream vacation you’ve been planning for 20 years…and it’s always been out of reach, chances are you need to release some old stories or old wounds to make space for it in your life.
We all carry habits and behaviors that we learned as we grew up to navigate our challenges. Although new challenges require different tools, our auto-pilot response is to pull from what worked in the past and apply it to everything (even if it doesn’t work anymore).
For example, screaming and pounding our fists may have worked when we were five to get what we want, but it doesn’t work so well in an argument with our spouse. Staying quiet and low-maintenance to keep the peace in your childhood household may have been a necessary survival mechanism, but as an adult it may allow others to treat you like a doormat with no boundaries. Not wanting to draw attention to your hormonally changing body as a teenager by hiding it is a sure-fire-tactic as an adult to staying hidden in your career and relationships.
Without learning new tools and habits to replace the old ones, we just keep hoping that it will eventually work again. And if we happen to get a validating response in a sea of missed targets, we’ve just doubled down on that habit.
What no longer serves you that you’re ready to release? The clues are in the spaces you most desire but can’t reach.
What holds the energy of both hope and fear?
For myself, some of my recent career blocks were around success. I both hoped for overflowing success but feared being in the spotlight. I wanted a booming business, but not so booming that I’d make it on Oprah because that felt too big to live up to. Fear and hope push against each other. The result is stagnation.
In my twenties, I hoped for a loving partner that I could share my life with…but I feared my authentic self wasn’t worthy of such love so I didn’t allow myself to get close to guys who were marriage material because that possibility of rejection felt too vulnerable to risk.
I know folks that hope for a child but fear giving up their freedom or fear that the world that child would be born into is too scary, chaotic and dark. Fear and hope cancel each other out.
So what do we do then? I've outlined a process to help clear these blocks to create space for manifesting your dreams:
1) Identify the things you want but haven’t been able to manifest.
2) List out all your fears related to achieving and receiving that in your life.
3) Do The Work on each one of these fears. “I fear that…(Limiting Belief to do The Work).”
4) Release the energy that these beliefs stuck in your body by intentionally and mindfully shaking, EFT Tapping or following a Breathwork Meditation.
If more fears present themselves, repeat steps 3 and 4 above. Keep doing this until you start to feel space…enough space that just thinking about your desire fills you with expansive lightness.