Triggers are an Invitation to do our Inner Work

Yesterday I read an email that had come through the Nature Centered Academy from a woman who’d read an article about me in Woman’s World magazine. I had submitted a written piece more than six months ago and had been told it was accepted and scheduled for March. I had totally forgotten until the email from this woman reminded me.

I had mentioned my mother’s suicide in the article I wrote. The woman's email said:

“I'm part of a group that arranges Catholic Masses for those who tragically end their lives. (You don't have to be Catholic to benefit from the Masses.) Could someone send me Jennifer's Mom's full name so we can have Masses offered for the happy repose of her soul?”

I nearly laughed out loud. If she only knew the journey I’d been on with religion. The amount of work I’ve done to heal religious trauma and forgive the institutions of Christianity and Catholicism – especially as it pertains to my mother. How my Catholic grandmother's words of, "It's too bad your mom's in Hell. She was such a nice woman." rang in my head for years after her death triggering so much anger and bitterness.

If I had received her email a few years ago, I probably would have promptly refused her request with a snarky reply. I would have felt fully justified in telling her to pound sand and given her an earful (or email-full) on what I thought about the hypocracy of religious doctrine.

Instead, I thought, “Well that’s sweet of her. She took the time to find me and is willing to offer a compassionate service. That’s a very kind gesture coming from a place of love and desire to help.”

I still don’t believe my mom is in any purgatory for taking her life, and I appreciated the act of kindness this stranger was offering. So my reply was as such. I thanked her for her kind and compassionate offer, for taking the time to find me and reach out, and for the work that she was doing in the world to bring more light and love to those who may be suffering.

I hadn’t yet read the final magazine copy, and wasn’t much in a rush to since I’d written it (or so I thought). And felt it might be fun fodder for social and an excuse to remind folks of the services I offer. So, I set out to the grocery store to find a copy and maybe grab a second for my sister.

I found the magazine at the register stands. I flipped through the pages until I saw the picture I submitted, and was gob smacked at what I read. My jaw dropped further down my face the more I read. I stood there in shock for a few moments before re-reading it in the hopes I misread the first time through.

No. Sure enough, there were quotes attributed to me of things I never said (or wrote). It held inaccurate descriptions of events. Even the stated age I was when my mom died was false. (I had written twenty years old, and they changed it to twenty-five.) They heavily dramatized my story and made it sound more like a TV soap opera than my actual journey.

My whole intention for writing it was to help direct people to helpful resources, including those I offered. There was no mention of my businesses or the services I offer. (Which is odd, then, that the woman sent me an email when there was no mention of my Nature Centered Academy or Jenn Bauer Healing. She really had put a lot of effort into finding me!)

Now I was triggered. How dare they re-write my story and falsify information about me under the umbrella of editorial liberties? They never gave me the final copy to approve or correct - how unfair!

So, I purchased a copy and took it home to do my inner work. Mostly on the thoughts and fears this brought up in me about how others will perceive me if they read this. The judgements of myself when looked at through the lens of this article. Of the fears that maybe this is what other people hear when I talk about my journey.

My point in sharing this is to let you know that our inner work is ongoing until the day we die (or ascend). There’s no teacher, healer, or leader living out there that has transcended being human. If you find one that claims they’ve completed all their work and there’s none left to do, run for the hills. They definitely can’t help you.

Now, folks can help you in areas that they've already done their work on and around so that they can coach, or hold space from, a place of clean-ness and clarity on those topics. Using this experience as an example, I feel confident in holding space for someone to work through their religious trauma...but I wouldn't be a clean and clear coach right now for someone who's in the midst of rumor-mill thrash. I'd be in a blind spot until I worked all the tangled thoughts on the subject and released any stuck emotions and energy from it.

For any spiritual mentor, coach, or therapist to claim they've done all their work on all areas and aspects of their life just isn't, and can't be, true. Whenever I hear one say they stay in the light and high-vibing all the time, no matter what, I know they're spiritually bypassing and disassociating from life. This can be dangerous.

The inner work absolutely offers freedom, AND it is freedom in layers. Each layer removed brings us deeper and deeper peace and joy. We can do the work in one area and find that there’s work to do in another. That’s okay. That's life.

It's kind of like a video game. You pass one level and get to the next one for bigger and harder challenges, which you're ready to handle because you've learned from and gained knowledge and experience from the prior challenges. Earth School teaches mastery.

It’s a journey, not a destination. When we stop learning, stop growing, stop removing layers of conditioning and separation is when we’re ready to check the box on this human experience (or Earth School, if you will). So my advice is to lean in to it and ask what lesson each experience is offering to you. What freedom can be gained from doing your inner work on it?

Because every trigger is an invitation to do our inner work. It's an opportunity for us to align more with our True Nature -- which is peace, love, joy, and freedom.