Presence Over Perfection

Growing up, I was the “good girl” focused on being “perfect” at school and anything else that could be judged on a level of societal success. For anyone who follows the Enneagram, I am an Enneagram 3, which is called The Achiever (or The Performer). They are ambitious, highly energetic, and success-oriented.

Threes are motivated by a deep desire to feel valuable, validated, and admired, and they measure their self-worth through external accomplishments and their public image. Their core fear is being perceived as worthless, inefficient, or failing in front of others…while their core desire is to feel valuable, accepted, and to have high status.

What this looked like for much of my life was overworking, burnout, and a disconnection from my true emotions. I recall in high school telling my mom I couldn’t go on the family vacation she planned because it meant missing school and I was terrified of receiving anything less than an A in every class. As a young adult trying to climb the cliché’d corporate ladder, that meant saying yes to everything that was asked of me at work from bosses and peers even if it took a toll on my physical, mental, and emotional health.

Through my journey with utilizing life coaching and self-development tools, I managed to move beyond seeking love through performance. Thankfully, now it feels safe to be authentic and vulnerable, both of which I value for staying in my own self-integrity as well as with those I am in relationship with.

It’s taken me nine years and diligent practice to peel back all the layers, unlearn internalized capitalism, and learn self-acceptance. It may be something that will require my ongoing mindful attention to stay in balance with. We’ll see…

AND, I knew I’d shifted when I realized I could wholly celebrate others’ successes without jealousy or making a comparison against my own worth. When my intention and mantra went from "Progress over Perfection" to "Presence over Perfection."

Part of this shift was reframing my definition of success. Another part was recognizing my inherent self-worth irrespective of achievement. The third part was gaining perspective on why we’re here as souls having a human experience in Earth School.

This allowed me to release any guilt I had around prioritizing activities that provided me joy and peace without “earning it” or worrying about "how well" I was doing it. Without the guilt and self-judgment, I could be fully present in those activities and that’s when everything shifted and I hit another level of self-expansion. Pure presence is POWERFUL.

Eckhart Tolle wrote a whole book on “The Power of Now.” Highly recommend reading it for anyone who struggles with staying present and those who are on the path of spiritual enlightenment. His teaching and my own lessons from my own journey with this will be the focus of my upcoming retreat, Tune in in Tuscany.

This retreat is for anyone who is a recovering over-achiever; who wants practice in stillness without guilt, shame, or needing to “earn it;” and those who want to embrace living life to the absolute fullest while they’re here in physical form.

Travel reminds you how much exists outside of your bubble, which can often make us think that's the only version of reality that exists. Yet, when we're exposed to other cultures, food, people, systems, etc...we see that the way we currently live isn't the only way to be.

AND - Travel isn't only about seeing places. It's about seeing YOURSELF differently. It expands you. It reminds you of why life is worth living!

It's not a reward for working hard. You weren't born to wake up, commute, work all day, come home exhausted, and then sleep...then repeat it all over again the next day...which turns into weeks, months, and years.

Most folks postpone life with excuses like:

"I'll travel when I have more money."

"I'll travel when work slows down."

"I'll travel next year."

Next year turns into yearS...responsibilities increase, energy drops, curiosity fades...and life becomes routine and we can find ourselves in a rut of our own making.

My intention with all my retreats are that people return feeling more grateful, less attached to nonsense and noise, and with a bigger vision for themselves and their lives.

AND - Because spending 9 nights, 10 days may feel like “too big” of a step and an audacious overreach to career over-achievers…or “too indulgent” for those who don’t feel they’ve “earned it”…I have added the option to attend for a shortened period of time (7 nights, 8 days: Saturday to Saturday). This would focus your time exclusively at the retreat in Chianti. I have built daily “Free Time” into the schedule, so if you’d still like to visit sites in Florence during that break, we can help you schedule transport into the city for just that. Florence is a 45-minute drive from our private estate.

I’ve also added details about the private property if you haven’t visited the event page recently.

I’m here for any questions you have about the retreat – without obligation.